On shutting up, comrade

You'll pardon my cheap, unnecessary and outdated reference to 'comrade' in the title as I continue to write about the behaviour of Russians and other former Soviet Union bloc country nationals who happen to attend the same Danish class as me.

I shall be unpleasant and continue to say they all behave in a similar fashion by talking endlessly to each other throughout each class. "Nyet! Da!" and other goddamn commie talk expressions and comments presumably about learning Danish (but probably plotting revolution, or worse, westernisation) all get in the way of the rest of us honest joes struggling to get to grips with the gutteral slurrings that are the national tongue of Denmark.

I would not be writing this if I hadn't observed it in all of them in my class. They joined one by one, then quickly grouped in collectives. This is not unusual in language classes, and I myself often sit next to a fellow English chap (when he bothers to show up, the lightweight). It can be helpful to have someone from home with whom you can foul-up and look stupid with.

But then chattering started. I hit back, shooting glances across the room but they hit their target. Indirectly, the teacher caught them and she became my ally in classroom cold war conflict. Interrupting their yakking (surely a pun!), she asked them questions, then watched as they struggled.

And struggle they did, for along with their endless rabbit, all of them are possessed with an arrogance when it comes to their command of Danish. I was thrown out of my last language school for being so crap, I was slowing everyone up. The Russian scientist (I was instantly suspicious) took to reaching over and actually writing in my notebook corrections to my exercises! In my current class, another did the same! But they aren't as good as they think, and sounding like a frustrated schoolmaster, I suggest they quit talking among themselves and concentrate on the language.

Now, excuse me while I go off and punish myself and dream of being more than I ever will be.

The Onion Bag Issue 235: Give us a break!

The Onion Bag Issue 235: Give us a break!

Offensive filth like this just makes the world a poorer place, if you ask me.

Poor David Busst, he certainly does not look like he's made a full recovery to me:



What a depressing fellow the author of this cheap, unfunny attempt at humour must be.

I despair.

On Indian food in Denmark

Where I work, the canteen folk stick a little sign over so-called hot dishes, if they make a curry or suchlike. First time I saw these, I thought, better go easy. A few moúth-fulls later, I was searching the condiments trolley (it's that posh) looking for something that might give this poor excuse for a curry something close to a bit of pep.

Suffice to say, I found none. Another time, I order an Indian takeaway. By the time I got over the shock of the cost (c£25 for two dishes, and I mean two, with two measly portions of rice), again I had the same lame attempt at making me sweat (truth be told, the bill did that).

What a relief, then, that I found this maharajah
among websites

What bliss! I now made several of these and yet to be disappointed. And the lamb rogan josh tonight was a blinder.

They can't do spicy food in Denmark. They're scared of it.